Bloch Positive Self-Talk For Children

Teaching Self-Esteem Through Affirmations
1. Auflage 2015
ISBN: 978-0-929671-12-3
Verlag: Pallas Communications
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: Adobe DRM (»Systemvoraussetzungen)

E-Book, Englisch, 314 Seiten

This is the e-book edition of the beloved classic 'Positive Self-Talk for Children' which was first published by Bantam Books in 1993. Positive Self-Talk for Children is a book that teaches children self-esteem through the affirmation process. It is a guide that can be used by parents, teachers and counselors to instruct children how to speak kindly and lovingly to themselves.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Bloch, Douglas

Leseproben

CHAPTER 2

AFFIRMATIONS: THE POWER OF POSITIVE SPEAKING

You learn things by saying them over and over and thinking about them until they stay in your mind forever.

Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

In her enchanting book, The Magic Journey, Ilse Klipper tells of a series of adventures in which children are aided by "magic words" that, when repeated out loud, give them the strength and well-being to succeed at their quests. By using these empowering phrases, the heroes and heroines of the journey tap into the power of positive self-talk.

What Is Self-Talk?

Every child (and adult) participates in a silent, internal conversation known as SELF-TALK. This self-talk consists of two inner voices that engage in a ongoing dialogue. The first of these voices, known as the "yes" voice, represents the part of the psyche that engages in positive, supportive self-talk. The "yes" voice is a source of peacefulness and strength. It taps into the natural curiosity, wonder, vitality, spontaneity, creativity, and joy that all children possess.

The second opposing voice is called the "no" voice . This is the part of the psyche that engages in negative, fearful self-talk. It is the voice of doubt, worry, anxiety, limitation, shame and self-hate.

Here are some examples of what these two voices say to ten-year-old Jesse.

Jesse's "YES" Voice

Jesse's "NO' Voice

I can. …………………………………………………..

I can't.

I choose to; I want to……………………………

I have to.

I can try. ……………………………………………..

I'm afraid to do it.

I am me, and I am enough. …………………..

I'm no good.

I can handle it. ……………………………………

I can't do it.

I am special…………………………………………

I'm a loser.

I will get through this hard time. ………….

I will never be happy again.

I am afraid, but I will act anyway. …………

I can't act because I am too afraid.

I can make a difference………………………..

I am powerless.

I am smart……………………………………………

I'm a dumbbell.

I am good looking. ………………………………

I am ugly.

Sooner or later, a child's self-talk becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. What he thinks of himself is what he becomes. If his "yes" voice tells him (in words and/or pictures) that he is a success, it is only a matter of time before he will demonstrate that success in the outer world. Thus, Jodi Foster's belief that all her finger paintings were Picassos—i.e. her confidence in her own greatness—translated itself into the manifestation of that greatness.

On the other hand, if the "no" voice takes over and complains, "What's the use! I can't do it," the child will act, or fail to act, in accordance with that belief. This is precisely the despair that many children from deprived and dysfunctional backgrounds experience.

Supporting the "Yes" Voice Through Affirmations

The affirmation is a simple tool for empowering and reinforcing a child's "yes" voice. An affirmation can be defined as a positive thought or idea that one consciously focuses on in order to produce a desired result. The result may be a specific goal or outcome (doing well in school, making new friends, improving one's health) or an improved attitude or state of mind (experiencing self-love, overcoming fear). A child can create an affirmation for virtually any need, goal or challenge in his life.

For example, twelve-year old Phineas had just moved to a new city and a new school system. Initially, his "no" voice filled his mind with all kinds of worries and concerns. "This school is too big. You'll never make friends," it complained.

To allay these fears, Phineas decided to talk to his school counselor. Together, they created the following affirmation for Phineas: I am a likable person who makes new friends easily. Each day on the way to school, Phineas repeated the affirmation, either to himself or out loud. As he spoke the words, the knot in his solar plexus untied and his body felt less tense. Whenever his "no" voice returned, Phineas simply recited the affirmation. A few weeks after school began, Phineas had achieved the outcome he wanted—new friendships with his classmates.

Here are some other affirmations that have been successfully used by children.

Affirmations for Children

I like myself.

I am smart.

I like the way I look.

I make friends easily.

I am a good student.

I do especially well in math.

It's okay for me to make mistakes.

I am capable.

The conscious use of affirmative language can foster emotional health and self-esteem in children in a variety of ways:

1) Positive self-talk fosters independence, autonomy and self-responsibility in children by encouraging them to go within and become the predominant creative force in their lives. This emphasis on moving from environmental support to self-support coincides with the work of child development pioneers such as Maria Montessori, Rudolf Dreikurs, and Erik Erikson.

2) Through the use of positive self-talk, children can shift their self-concept from being externally to internally based. Instead of depending on positive messages that come from the outside, kids can create their own strokes. For example, when Edward feels lonely and isolated, he looks in the mirror and repeats, "I am lovable and huggable."

3) Positive self-talk enhances a child's self-confidence and self-esteem. Mike was a high school drop-out and recovering alcoholic. "No one ever told me I could be anything," he lamented. After working with the simple affirmation, "I am somebody who can make a difference," Mike began to speak to other kids about his experiences with alcohol. Now he lectures full time across the country. Additional positive self-talk for self-esteem can be found in Chapter 5.

4) Positive self-talk can provide an antidote to unhealthy shame. According to John Bradshaw and other therapists, toxic shame lies at the root of all addictions. By teaching children to affirm their basic self-worth, the spiral of shame can be stopped. Children can learn to give themselves appreciation and praise instead of criticism and condemnation. Additional positive self-talk for overcoming shame can be found in Chapter 5.

5) Positive self-talk can help children to set and achieve personal goals such as doing well academically, making the soccer team, or becoming a better friend.

6) Positive self-talk can positively affect a child's health and body image. For example, my 12-year-old neighbor Molly, who was recovering from the flu, asked me why I hadn't gotten sick. I replied that whenever I feel myself coming down with something, I just talk myself out of it. A month later, Molly stopped by to visit.

"It worked!" She exclaimed.

"What worked?" I asked.

"I did what you told me," she replied. "Last week, I started to catch the flu and I told myself, 'My flu bug is gone. I am healthy and well.' Soon, my flu went away."

Additional positive self-talk for heath can be found in Chapter 6

7) Positive self-talk can support kids to stay true to themselves and resist outer pressures that often come from adults, peers and the culture. For example, when a group of her friends told Carol that her refusal to smoke was "not cool" she simply responded, "By taking care of my health, I'm helping myself—now that is being cool."

Additional positive self-talk for resisting peer pressure can be found in Chapter 17.

8) Positive self-talk can help kids to respond to adversity in a positive and empowering manner. After striking out with the bases loaded to end the game, Joe blamed the entire loss on himself. "I let everyone down," he repeated to himself.

With the help of his parents, Joe slowly replaced his negative self-talk with the following affirmation: "I did the best I could. I'm still a good person. I can practice my batting and do better next time." By releasing his guilt and self-blame, Joe was able to...