Fischer Help! My Family Makes Me Sick

No time for assholes
1. Auflage 2023
ISBN: 978-3-7578-4435-6
Verlag: BoD - Books on Demand
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, 264 Seiten

"Not deviating a single meter, always being there for them throughout your whole life, spending every moment at their side." This was the life of Peter S. Fischer, as his mother and her sister had already made precise plans for him in his childhood. In "Help! My family makes me sick," the author talks about his life within this dominant family structure and how he managed to break free from it. Fischer highlights how burdensome such situations can be and provides tips on how to break the cycle.

Peter S. Fischer married like animals especially dogs lives in Germany Augsburg

Autoren/Hrsg.

Fischer, Peter S.

Leseproben

3. Story
My Teenage years! I'm now coming to a chapter and several incidents that immediately came to mind when I was accused of some things by my mother and aunt. I completed my training as a machine fitter and continued to work at this large company. I didn't have a proper profession, but I earned my own money and didn't need to answer to anyone about what I did with it. That's why I got my driver's license and bought my first car. I was proud of my first car, although it was small, it was mine - a 1100 Simca. All of my friends who were also tradesmen owned a small used car. We were a big group, we met every weekend and went out together and had fun. Soon after, we decided to install CB radios in our cars, which was very modern and trendy at the time. As soon as we got into our cars, we could call each other, so we always knew where we were meeting and who of my friends was on the way. Some bought a used home station, which I also did later. So I could communicate with my buddies from home. But I hadn't counted on my mother watching me when I went to my CB radio station and how I operated it. I had picked up my girlfriend at the time and was on my way to my buddies, the CB radio was of course turned on, suddenly I heard my mother's voice on the call channel. She said, "Where are you, where are you sweetie, don't you want to come home right away!" I was so ashamed, my girlfriend laughed at me terribly. My buddies had of course also listened and made fun of me. I would have loved to sink into the ground on the spot, I had never expected something like this, my mother made me ridiculous in front of my friends. After that, I had to endure a lot and was of course constantly teased about it. I confronted my mother about it, but she ignored it and did it again and again. What happened afterwards was that my girlfriend left me, she didn't want a boyfriend who was a mommy's boy and made a fool of himself in front of his friends. "What made me think at the age of 50 was that she already wanted to tie me up and bind me to herself. She wanted a little boy who never strayed from his mommy and obediently stayed with her. She wanted to destroy my freedom with all her might, and what she destroyed in me at that moment didn't matter to her. At the time, I explained to her that this was the reason why my girlfriend left me. Her condescending response was, 'Women are all worthless. Be glad she's gone!' I think I was just very angry and didn't think much of it at the time, but today I think very differently about it. She wanted to keep me like a prisoner. When I came home late, she waited in the kitchen and I had to hear her say, 'If you stay away so long, I can't sleep.' I couldn't do anything at home without her being present. She poked her nose into everything and spied on me everywhere. My father didn't care about any of it. When I brought a girlfriend home and went to my room with her, I was never alone for long. Every few minutes, my mother came and asked us if we needed anything. The longer I was with the girlfriend, the worse it got. Was she a competitor for my mother? Was she afraid I would move out and marry her? When I was alone at home, I could do anything I wanted: listen to my rock music, play guitar. But when I went out and met a girlfriend, my mother would immediately freak out. I thought it was all just normal madness and figured it would sort itself out eventually. But what did my mother achieve by making me think, even at that time, that if I could afford it someday, I would look for a small, cheap apartment to rent so that I could finally have some peace and do what I wanted, especially being alone with my girlfriend without being screwed around by my mother? Because my mother still went one step further. When I brought my girlfriend home and she came in, she always said, 'Sweetie, do you need anything?' I couldn't stand that word 'sweetie' anymore because every girlfriend screwed me over and soon ran away! My mother always won in that respect! What did my mother achieve with that? I hated her for it! Of course, my aunt also found out about these incidents every time that I was single again because of my mother and my girlfriend had left me. She also screwed me over and said to me every time, 'Women are all worthless. You don't need a girlfriend. Be glad you have a mother and an aunt. You don't need anything else.' That should have made me think. They were already planning to drive away every girlfriend of mine so that I would never have a steady or maybe even no girlfriend at all. Why? They had a steady partner, even a family? My plan for my own apartment grew more and more. I was furious." Shortly after, on a weekend, I met a nice girlfriend at a disco and we hit it off. We spent a lot of time together and she wasn't scared off by my mother and her tricks. We went out almost every weekend and had a great time together. What I didn't realize at the time was that my girlfriend had a plan - she wanted to get away from her parents' house as soon as possible. I didn't know why, but it had something to do with her father. Had her father done something to her? He used to be a heavy alcoholic, and I had a feeling that he was hiding something. I should have paid closer attention in that case. But my girlfriend was fine and her parents were okay with me, so I didn't think much of it. I didn't have to marry her parents later, so what did it matter? But that turned out to be a big mistake - I later got into trouble with them! A few years later, I told my girlfriend that I couldn't stand living in my parents' house anymore and that I needed my own place. She was thrilled with the idea, of course. We soon found a larger apartment - it wasn't huge, but it was our home! My mother didn't like it at all, because how could I live with a young woman? Later, she pretended to be okay with it. She couldn't take my girlfriend away from me or chase her off anymore. But I would feel the consequences later. At that time, I had the impression that her parents were glad that their daughter was out of the house - I later had an evil suspicion! We lived together for about a year, then I received a call-up notice from the Bundeswehr (German military). Before we moved into this apartment, I had called to ask if I still needed to worry about being drafted, and they said no - they had enough soldiers! I went to Roth and completed my basic training, but then I had very severe stomach bleeding and had to go to the Bundeswehr hospital in Ulm. During this time, my father had his first heart attack and had to have surgery. Even before my father got sick, my mother called me every day, and I didn't have a moment's peace - she annoyed me again. Later, I was discharged from the hospital and the Bundeswehr, and of course, I was not sad that I could go home to my girlfriend and go back to work. I heard that good locksmiths were being sought after at another large machinery factory and that I could earn much more money there. I applied immediately and, of course, got the job and started working there a few weeks later. I earned very good money, and we could afford and save a lot. I saved what was still very modern at that time, in a building society contract! A large contract was fully saved up and already had the full score. I could have bought a condominium and heard about a cheap two-room apartment - it was an emergency sale. We immediately went to see it, and it was a very nice, spacious apartment. We liked it right away, and I wanted to buy it right away, of course. Right after that, I went to the bank and wanted to take care of everything. I didn't need a big financing through my building society contracts, I only had to borrow about ten thousand German marks. The apartment was an absolute bargain. But what I didn't expect at the time was that my parents had to guarantee the ten thousand marks because I wasn't yet twenty-one years old. Immediately after the bank consultation, I drove to my parents' house and what happened next, I'm still angry with my mother about it today! My father would have been willing to talk with me, but my mother dug in her heels and refused to cosign the loan. The bargain was off, I couldn't afford to buy a cheap two-room apartment anymore. No apartment could match that price anymore, they kept getting more expensive. I didn't get another chance during that time. Today, I suspect that I didn't get the co-signature because I had a steady girlfriend and we lived together. My mother always put obstacles in my way, no matter what I did. I wanted to build my own future, I wanted to buy an apartment. Was she trying to say that I could always live in the family home, then I'd be back with her and my girlfriend could go away again? I think that's what she was thinking. I was so angry that I cancelled a savings plan and bought a heavy motorcycle. Some colleagues also had motorcycles, and that's how we became friends and went on small trips together. It even led to a closer friendship with a couple who also had motorcycles, and we went on vacation with them several times. Almost every weekend, we were on the road with our heavy machines, and the motorcycle tours kept getting bigger and longer. Until we even drove to Turkey and went on a road trip. During this time, we had hardly any contact with our parents. My girlfriend was doing very well during this time, we enjoyed our young lives and did what we wanted with our friends. In the eyes of our parents, we were leading a wild life. But as it goes in life, eventually the good times are over and you have to reorient yourself. Our best friends had a child and had...