Justus Pit

1. Auflage 2020
ISBN: 978-1-5439-9592-3
Verlag: BookBaby
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: Adobe DRM (»Systemvoraussetzungen)

E-Book, Englisch, 434 Seiten

After pummelling my car through an intersection at over 100mph head-on into seven cars due to a sudden voice in my head, I embarked on a Seven year Journey of Awakening leading to the metamorphosis of my life and the nightmare I live with. It is the psychological closure to an experience that cannot truly be described. This is my story.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Justus

Leseproben

When I left Chicago, I headed West… I wasn’t in any hurry and I had no real destination other than the Pacific Ocean. From there, I knew I could turn Left and head to Mexico. I would sell my Jeep in San Diego and a couple of valuable things I had to sell for such a reason. , cross the border and begin my Ministry… in Spanish; something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time… God would provide the rest. God Always Provides…& That, He did… As stated at the end of Book One… I ended up leaving my Jeep precariously tilted against a tree, staring down a 1500 foot ravine. I taught myself how to drive and destroy a four-wheel drive vehicle over impossible terrain. I broke that jeep… I broke it way before I parked it up against that tree. There was only a small, two-track road that led up the mountainside to a small field I found to drive through… It was no picnic… A four-wheeler will have difficulty getting to where my Jeep (no doubt) still is. Right next to the Ark of The Covenant… I think the best way to begin describing this journey would be to recount a brief conversation I had with my wife shortly upon returning from my Cross-country Walk-about... She picked me up from my rented house not more than a mile away and was bringing me back to the house I used to call, Home. It was my time for a scheduled-supervised visit with my children. “I gotta tell you this funny story….” I began… Now, picture me in your mind… sitting in the passenger seat of your Town & Country… …a very animated speaker and storyteller, a professional salesman and master of the lie… I do not have ‘Manic’ episodes; but others including doctors that graduated from the bottom of their class through a trade school in India, have tried to pin it on me. In a heartbeat. I can stop talking, sit perfectly still and reiterate everything that has been said leading up to any point in the conversation, evaluate it from any point of view, summarize and make a New valid point about the possibility of cutting zero in half. (Pause) How would you define, ‘Manic,’ doctor? (Silence…) Imagine this guy sitting next to you in your family grocery getter and he starts telling you this story… My poor wife… Now mind you, I had just decided to divorce her. Not for a woman nor for my desire to be with another woman. I didn’t know it at the time, but God had already taken my hand & I had just swallowed the Lure of Christ; Hook, Bait, and Sinker… The Easter Bunny on a Sheet of Acid} I continued in That Light. “When I came out of the Rocky Mountains, the first town I came upon was this small little place. I’m sure it didn’t even have a post office… I was in the middle of this lesson about sex. You know, the purpose of it and its place in Human Life… Anyway, as I was driving into this little town, I saw a sign for an ice cream place and behind it was a garage that held up its advertising sign just above the first. I’m sure it wasn’t done on purpose but at the right angle I could see the two signs together and it said, “Dent Bangers and Sweet Lips…” It was hilarious…!!!” I was laughing out loud. She wasn’t. Not that the signs weren’t funny because had she been there and we just happened to be talking about sex… it would have been just as funny to her as it was to me… But she thought I was ‘alone,’ and said, “You do know that makes you sound crazy, right?” “Yeah, I suppose so… I still think it’s pretty funny though, don’t you?” She didn’t answer as we pulled into the driveway of the house. I just turned my head with a natural smile reflecting on the story I had just shared. There was Joy, deep-down inside that smile… ‘She’ was with me the whole time. ‘She’ never left my side and ‘She’ knew the deepest, darkest secrets of my Porneia. ‘She’ certainly wasn’t sitting next to me as we pulled into the garage… That’s for sure… My wife would later think the greatest joke I ever told was the last time I physically said to her, “I Love You.” I’ve never seen such genuine laughter come from another human being. She thought I was a joke. Everybody else did too. Some felt pity for me but most people thought I was either possessed by a demon, dangerous to be around or just irritating because I was mentally ill. For the most part, they just sat back and jeered while they pointed their fingers at me behind closed doors… I was certainly the talk of the town for a bit during those six months in Michigan. It was more than disheartening… It filled me with Rage… Considering I had just demonstrated my potential in the expression of a heightened emotion by plowing my car through an intersection; disrupting the daily, monotonous lives of innocent people… I thought it wise for me to leave. Nobody liked me anyway. I knew I was dangerous… There’s no way I would have been able to articulate that then. I probably would have sold some long-winded pitch on how safe I am. “If you’re friends with the Devil, then what would you have to fear?” Red Flag, ‘Whatever’ ~ Living with a Psychopath… It’s impossible to describe the Spirit that Possessed me… She did more than just, Possess me… She Saturated me. It’s like trying to count every photon in every direction emitting from a star. Simultaneously feeling, seeing, moving and planning each core combustion before and after every fraction of a Nanosecond. Add to that: Conscious thought. Wrap it in Human Emotion. Sprinkle it with Faith… and Bury your Hope with all its Desire for the benefit of Life Itself… As I said, it’s impossible to describe… Before I start splitting parables in the name of E=mc2… Allow me to use a much simpler analogy: Imagine talking on your cellular phone with a Blue Tooth earbud, headset… You know, the kind that listens more to the vibration of your jaw than the actual words coming out of your mouth while you try to argue with the wind or the incessant noise of a crowded, downtown, big-city street? Now Imagine if you will, talking to the best friend you’ve ever had… (hopefully, you’re still married). If not, reflect upon those forever talks in the beginning… You know, when you both are just sharing time together. Sharing each other’s experience. Just ‘hanging out’ on the phone sharing your real life in real time… You know, just sharing…. Imagine you both have enough time to hang out for days but for some reason, you can’t be together and this is the closest you can get. Neither of you ever want to hang up even when you both start giggling about the two-second pause of silence that will eventually creep up into day-long conversations… You both are out and about exploring… Sharing…. Finding places to recharge your devices so there is no interruption. Sharing and describing to one another, under the cloak of a hidden language only the two of you share, all the funny looks you’re getting because of your pocketed cell phone and hair-hidden earbuds… People think you’re crazy because it looks like you’re not only talking to yourself, but you’re laughing, listening, agreeing and sharing… Obviously, In Love. Now… Remove the Earbuds and Cellular phone… Remove the Audible Voice, the Distance and any Reality you’ve ever known. Try to imagine how I came to ‘Know’ the Endless Joy in the depths of Unconditional Love… It’s like listening to your conscience only your conscience has its own conscience and ‘voices’ her opinion. She began to patiently, caress my life with her prescience and transformed a new reality by laying it out before me. Once I was fully saturated by this ‘Spirit,’ I began to feel a new sense of ‘Energy’ Permeate my Being. I remember laughing, always laughing. I don’t know what kind of emotion I could compare to what I began to feel as I began to witness the Physical Manifestation of what used to be… My Imagination… I began to read signs as if they were specific announcements to me and me alone… On the street, on the clock, through other people… In the Clouds of the Sky… Through Music… But most of all, She communicated with me in and through my own writing… As I‘ve I said, I’m a poet. I’ve written thousands of poems. All but just a few have been written over these past seven years. They acted as a funnel for this new Energy I seemed to be ‘Wearing’ now. Not only for the benefit of my own Total Change of Mind but Prophecy for the World as well. Most of which will not be published… Before I die, I’ll roll them up and take them to the Dead Sea and bury them in a Time Capsule… Lol… Just kidding. I’ll probably publish them as a book of Poetry sometime in the future… It’s one thing to suffer a psychotic break and embrace religious delusions of grandeur, it’s a whole ‘nother thing to make the claim of Prophet… “It ain’t Cocky if you can back it up.” Remember, and this time I mean to say it politely and from my heart as I would to a friend rather than just some casual reader… I don’t care what you think: but, only if you disagree with me… For it is reasonably known to any sensible creature of sentient intellect that unless you are, not only in a position of knowing what a modern-day prophet is, but have also been Appointed as a Heavenly Judge over the Prophets of God, then it is not possible to disagree. You don’t have to believe it, that’s for sure… But it is literally not possible for anyone to “disagree.” To Disagree would require provable facts to the contrary among witnesses in a Heavenly Court. Should anyone find themselves in such a position, the Holy Spirit will direct you to my door, or I yours, and we can share a meal to discuss that… Otherwise, you are more than welcome to your opinion… “I am not a threat to myself or others...