Doyle Crucifixion's A Doddle

The Passion of Monty Python
1. Auflage 2016
ISBN: 978-1-911110-39-2
Verlag: Clink Street Publishing
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, 252 Seiten

As Julian Doyle, the editor of Monty Python's film Life of Brian, watched the comedy teams attempt to be crucified, for the end of their film, he began to notice something was seriously wrong. Checking for images of the crucified Jesus, he found none. The first appearing nearly 400 years after the event. But, not only were there no images of Jesus but not one of anyone else being crucified. And it was not until the first image appeared in 420 AD that the vertical cross replaced the original symbol for Christianity, which was the X shaped Chi-Rho. Our well-known image was clearly an invention by commissioned artists well after the actual event. And that is what Doyle had spotted on the set of Life of Brian, that crucifixion could not, and does not, work, and in this book he describes why. With further research, he began to notice contradictions within the Biblical text about the death of Jesus, leading him to the shocking possibility that maybe Pontius Pilate did not crucify Jesus after all as all the evidence seemed to suggest that Jesus lived for a decade after Pilate left Judea. Now in this true life detective story Doyle astonishingly uncovers who was the real killer of Jesus Christ. Behind his jovial and playful style, Julian Doyle conceals a rapier wit with which he cuts and slashes his way through the whole of the crucifixion story with expert analysis, bringing clarity to the Gospel and revealing for the first time a way of understanding what may be the true story of Jesus. Leading Python Terry Jones has described Doyle as a polymath, and it is this extraordinary range of knowledge - coupled with a curious and accessible approach - that has helped lead him to his discoveries. Remarkable, challenging and possibly very naughty indeed, Crucifixion's a Doddle is a must-read for Python fans as well as anyone with an inquiring mind.In Crucifixion's a Doddle, the irrepressible Doyle uses evidence to form his persuasive case; such as the fact that no image of Jesus on a cross appeared for 300 years after the event was alleged to have taken place, and that the images that did appear were likely an invention by commissioned artists at the time to explore the likelihood that the story told for centuries may not be as accurate as previously thought. Behind his jovial and playful style, Julian Doyle conceals a rapier wit with which he cuts and slashes his way through the whole of the crucifixion story with expert analysis, bringing clarity to the Gospel and revealing for the first time a way of understanding what may be the true story of Jesus. Leading Python Terry Jones has described Doyle as a polymath, and it is this extraordinary range of knowledge - coupled with a curious and accessible approach - that has helped lead him to his discoveries. Remarkable, challenging and possibly very naughty indeed, Crucifixion's a Doddle is a must-read for Python fans as well as anyone with an inquiring mind.'

Autoren/Hrsg.

Doyle, Julian

Leseproben

Introduction

This is a detective story stimulated by some extraordinary happenings on the film, Monty Python’s Life of Brian. The crime is the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, for which there were four original witnesses, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. We need to re-examine their evidence, but then we will introduce you to a surprise witness for his crucial evidence, which will blow away the veil of centuries of fog from our eyes. After cross-examination, we will sum up the evidence to help you, the jury, come to a verdict on who is the guilty party in this infamous crime. The baffling starting point is the questions raised by the end of the film Life of Brian.

Look carefully at the following frame from the film. How does it completely subvert the biblical story?

How does this make every image of the Jesus crucifixion wrong? And how did the cross, become a symbol for Christianity, when for centuries it was never so? What are the true details of those seven days that began with Jesus triumphantly entering Jerusalem on a donkey; expelling the money-changers from the Temple and on to a Last Supper; arrest in Gethsemane; trial; crucifixion and resurrection?

Jesus was an Israelite, so in case you do not know the origin, or the beliefs of these people who refused to be ruled by the Roman Empire, we will give a quick summary in this introduction, as it is crucial to the events that were discovered during the making of the film. It also explains the strange way the Romans were able to conquer Israel, a way that is highlighted in Monty Python’s Life of Brian, which, without doubt, is the most accurate biblical film ever made.

The basic biblical story of the Israelites is that Abraham and his family left Mesopotamia as nomads and travelled to Canaan. Abraham brought with him the legends of Mesopotamia, the story of Adam and Eve in Eden; of Noah and the flood; of Enoch and Methuselah; in fact, all the first ten verses of the book of Genesis come from Mesopotamia. Okay that is a broad statement, so let me try and back it up by telling you exactly where the Garden of Eden is.

Yes, you heard that right. I know, you thought the Garden of Eden was a mythical place, but just to show you that the Old Testament is actually describing real events (obviously coloured by God) we will identify the location of Paradise. In reality it is the place of origin of the Mesopotamians, and all the information needed to locate paradise is actually in their beliefs, and reiterated in the Bible.

‘Now a river flowed from Eden to water the garden, and from there it divides into four headstreams. The name of the first is Pishon; it runs through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold. The name of the second river is Gihon; it runs through the entire land of Cush. The name of the third river is Hidderkel; it runs along the east side of Assyria. The fourth river is the Perath.’ (Genesis 2)

So Eden is the source of four rivers, the names of two of which are well known – in modern Bibles the Perath is named as the Euphrates and the Hidderkkel, the Tigris. The other two are unknown and many have suggested they are the Nile, the Ganges or even the Amazon, but it is quite clear that these do not have their source anywhere near the Tigris and Euphrates.

The following map shows Mesopotamia, which means the land between rivers and above that is the source of both rivers.

You can see the Tigris and the Euphrates rise to the north-west near each other. If there are two other rivers originating to the right of the source of the Tigris and Euphrates – the north-east – they would probably empty into the Caspian Sea. Yes, you guessed it; there are two such rivers, the Araxes and the Uizhun. Could one be the Gihon? Well the Persians actually used the old and new names together, Gihon –Aras and, extraordinarily, you will find the name Gihon–Aras in Victorian biblical dictionaries, but it seems to have been forgotten. That leaves us with the Uizhun, but although we cannot link the names, its position suggests it is the Pishon. From this, we can not only identify Eden, but I can even pinpoint the garden itself, which is stated to be in the east of Eden. It is so obvious that I am kicking myself that I did not work it out first, but credit goes to an amateur Reginald Walker. Walker unfortunately died in 1989, but his notes found their way to the Egyptologist, David Rohl, who explored the area and, in his book Legend, gives us the facts. What facts you may ask? Well, the details in the Bible are quite specific. Not just the source of four rivers but:

1. ‘And God planted a garden eastward in Eden and there he put the man whom he had formed.

2. Now a river flowed from Eden to water the garden.

3. He placed cherubim at the east of the Garden of Eden and a flaming sword.

4. Then Cain went out from the presence of the Lord and dwelt in the land of Nod in the east of Eden.’

The probable origin of the word Eden is the Babylonian Edinu, meaning plain. So God placed the garden paradise east of a plain. In the centre of the area where the rivers originate is a high valley bounded on three sides by snow-capped mountains. The word Paradise comes from an old Persian word, which means, ‘walled garden’. Along the valley floor runs the river Adji Chay – the river flowed from Eden to water the garden. So Adji Chay does not originate in the Garden, but runs into it from Eden, the plain. The Adji Chay valley has an older name, the ‘Meidan’ valley. Would you believe this is a Persian word, which also means walled garden? So the river Adji Chay flows from its origin into the east of Eden, and that is where the garden is.

Now we need to follow Cain when he was ejected from Eden to the land of Nod. Travelling in an easterly direction out of Eden you head over a mountain pass and end in an area called Upper and Lower Noqdi. There are villages there called Noqdi and Noadi. The ‘i’ at the end denotes ‘belonging’ as in ‘Iraqi’, a person from Iraq. So I think we have our land of Nod.

Finally, near here, also in the east of Eden, we need to find the guardians God placed there.

‘He placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden, cherubim and a flaming sword flashing.’

Located at the head of the mountain pass, protecting the easterly entrance to Eden, is an old town called Heruabad. Kheru-abad means settlement of the Kheru people. If you look in a dictionary you will find, Kerubim is an alternative spelling for Cherubim. And it is known that the earliest smelting of copper and tin to make bronze (swords) occurred around this area. In fact, the Bible says it was Tubal Cain who was the ancestor of all who worked metal (Genesis 4.22). There is just one later reference in the Bible to Eden.

‘…the people of Eden who were in Tel Assar.’ (2 Kings 19)

Encyclopaedias tell us Tel-assar was a place inhabited by ‘the people of Eden’, which is in northern Mesopotamia, just outside Eden from which they were expelled.

David Rohl’s book gives you more details, but I think it is pretty clear that the Mesopotamian legend is describing a real place of origin, and that Eden is in the Adji Chay valley in northern Iran. The central town is Tabriz and to the left on a map is the fertile area of the Garden of Eden. Interestingly Noah’s Ark is said, in the Koran, to have ended up on Mount Judi, just south of Eden, which suggests that if an earlier catastrophe had occurred then Adam and Eve would have been in the high plain, the perfect place to survive it and repopulate the earth, or more likely, Mesopotamia, as well as introduce us to the apple of knowledge.

A strange error in all paintings of Adam and Eve

I have spent time on the Adam and Eve story to explain why I have a strong belief that myths and legends, whether remembered in tribal stories or written down, are important to investigate, as they often have real information. The Trojan wars were considered myths till they found Troy. Jason and the Golden Fleece is a real journey to the eastern coast of the Black Sea, where there is a gold-bearing river. To extract the gold, a sheep’s fleece was held in the riverbed to trap the heavy metals.

The other thing I want to point out is that many legends remember catastrophic natural events.

‘I suddenly saw that directly to the north, the sky split in two and fire appeared high and wide over the forest. The split in the sky grew larger, and the entire northern side was covered with fire. At that moment I became so hot that I couldn’t bear it, as if my shirt was on fire; from the northern side, where the fire was, came strong heat. I wanted to tear off my shirt and throw it down, but then the sky shut closed, and a strong thump sounded, and I was thrown a few metres. I lost my senses for a moment. After that such noise came, as if rocks were falling, the earth shook, and when I was on the ground, I pressed my head down fearing rocks would smash it. When the sky opened up, hot wind raced over the land, which left traces in the ground like pathways.’

This may sound like something out of the Book of Ezekiel but it is a description by a local native of the Tunguska comet, which hit at 7.15am on 30 June 1908, luckily in an extremely remote area of Siberia, so remote that scientists did not get there to investigate till 1921, after the Great War. The aerial explosion and resulting shock wave produced fluctuations in atmospheric pressure strong enough to be...