David Last Stop Hotel

1. Auflage 2025
ISBN: 978-1-83615-192-0
Verlag: Grosvenor House Publishing
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, 212 Seiten

An imaginative and captivating collection of short stories, micro fiction, and poetry. From gritty, darkly comedic tales of crime in the underworlds of London and New York, to doomed romances, gothic horror fantasies, and thought-provoking science fiction, each of these stories speak to the state of the world and the challenges faced by everyday people. Bookending these stories, the author tells us more about his life growing up and what has led him to explore writing and the themes that permeate his work. This unique collection, full of humour and heart, is not to be missed.

I'm just a humble writer, an everyday guy getting wiser as I go along. Learning from my mistakes and growing from them. And now I want to share my thoughts with the world. People knock writers for speaking their minds, but writing is an educational pastime that you're never too old to enjoy. So, have fun and roll with the punches. Oh, and don't forget to duck.

Autoren/Hrsg.

David, Michael

Leseproben

A Crazy Life

I remember being a kid growing up in south-east London. I’d sneak into pubs with my friends, and they’d turn a blind eye. In the ’70s, not even the cops were interested as long as we kept quiet and behaved ourselves, but back then nothing was predictable. In 1973, when I was 11, my family moved to a council estate in Lee Green. The local pub was a place called the Northbrook. When I was a youngster, I’d go in there, have a drink and watch the entertainment. I was shy and had problems socializing, but after a few, I was everyone’s friend. I remember sitting at a table with the comedian Max Wall. He’d have a few and do his funny walk. Had us all in fits. And having a drink with Patrick Murray who played Mickey Pearce, the cockney conman in Only Fools and Horses. He had problems later with cancer. Rest in peace. He’d wander in occasionally and tell us funny stories. The punters loved him. There were plenty of jokers in the Northbrook and you were guaranteed a laugh. You’ve probably heard the saying fact is stranger than fiction. Well, I remember one time when they had trouble finding a landlord.

The Northbrook was owned by the brewery. Every few months they’d send a new landlord because the last one had to leave in a hurry. One landlord was only there a couple of hours. Someone knocked him out with a punch, and while he was sleeping on the floor everyone was serving themselves. “And don’t forget the till and the smokes.” So, the brewery sent another landlord. And people used to roll joints on the bar and get Rizlas behind the counter. You’d see the bar staff walking around stoned. I don’t know how they did their job. If you were an idiot, you were in good company. I went there for the free booze and a bit of work and kept out of trouble. A couple of years later, there were bouncers on the door.

I know what you’re thinking: people can’t be that stupid. I knew a dealer that used to drive around stoned. When the cops pulled him over for dangerous driving they found two kilos in his car. It’s a good job he wasn’t working for the Columbians. He’d be lying in some wall. And there’s a saying in London: where there’s mugs, there’s villains. Some of the pubs in London serve stolen goods behind the bar, or they know a man you can go to.

You just whisper in the bar guy’s ear, “I’ll have a pint, and I’m looking for a TV.” And he’ll tell you to come back later.

And if you want drugs, he’ll point to a dealer. “See that fella over there.” And he’d get a commission from the dealer.

I don’t know what the pubs are like in your area, but in those days, London pubs were run by villains and somebody else’s name was on the door. The cops knew what was going on, but long as they got paid, who’s judging who. And they’d get a free drink from the tap. “Hey, snap my picture with Ronnie Biggs here.” I know, you can’t make up this bullshit. I look at the trouble in some of these areas with drugs and booze and I’m not surprised.

You’ve probably heard the story. Two strangers sitting in a bar. One turns to the other and tries to impress him about how important he is. He’s done this and that and knows a lot of people. So, the other guy gives him a funny look. “So, what’s it to me?”

“Just wanted you to know I can get any drugs you want.”

So, the other guy brought out a badge and told him, “That’s good to know.”

I know, every pub has one. Don’t get me started. Before we had social media, we had word of mouth. In London, people were known by reputation. The Criminal Wall of Fame. If you didn’t hear about a face, they weren’t worth knowing. I remember sitting in a pub watching the villains come through the door with their birds. They thought they were movie stars. They were admired and respected. Everybody wanted to be one.

“Is that who I think it is?”

“Yeah, a legend in his own mind.”

But if you smiled and played along, they were good for a few drinks. Like the saying goes, ‘a fool and their money’. And the people they were trying to impress were cretins just like them. Then they’d disappear for a while, and you’d hear they were in prison. Just another forgotten legend. The glamorous life of a crook.

You’re probably thinking, this guy’s clued up. He should have been a criminal psychologist. Joking! The crime rate would go up. I’ve been here a long time, but I’m still bumping into things.

Once I got a job as a security guard watching an old building at night. I was the only one there and thought the place was haunted. It gave me the creeps. First week on the job, my boss turned up on the site and saw me gone. He found me later in the pub. I was fired on the spot. And I got another job behind a bar. It was the landlord’s night off. People came in, bought a drink – “And get one for yourself.” The landlord came in later and found me unconscious on the floor. Money was gone and the place had been raided. I was sleeping, so it wasn’t me. Lost that job too.

I remember going into the job centre before I signed on sick. I’d be half-cut with a bottle in my pocket. They can’t bar you from drinking. They’d look at me and shake their heads like I was a lost cause. They were happy I was gone. I’m not proud of it, but I was a hopeless drunk.

Yeah, and there’s more bullshit. I’ve met some characters in my life. Some of them I’m embarrassed to talk about. Alcohol is like a truth-teller. It lowers the inhibitions and brings out your true self. I’ve seen gentle people turn nasty under the influence. I knew this little old man who wouldn’t hurt a fly. The sweetest guy you could meet, but after some Gold Label, he was Jekyll and Hyde. I was drinking with him and another guy. Just a regular Saturday night. After a few drinks he wanted to fight everyone. I thought it was funny, but the other guy knocked him out with a punch. It was like a Popeye movie. I couldn’t believe it! I thought he was dead! I made my excuses and got out of there fast! I know, naughty, naughty. Should have stuck around to make sure he was alright, but I was drunk. Anyway, I saw him the next day and he was okay. Didn’t even remember it. It was crazy. But for me alcohol had the opposite effect. It made me stupid and funny. Some like being around a crowd, but my biggest fear was shopping and crowded places, but once the alcohol hit me, I didn’t have a care in the world. And I always had a bottle of Dutch courage in my bag. Like the American Express advert. Never leave home without it. I remember drinking some White Lightning cider. That stuff will turn you into a zombie. And it was cheap. Talk about rocket fuel. I’m lucky I still have a brain to think with.

Once I was living in Great Yarmouth, drinking with some bums. One of them had cirrhosis of the liver from years of booze. His stomach was so big. He looked like a beached whale. The doctor warned him to stop drinking, but he didn’t care. He used to joke about dying. Then one day he got his wish. A group of us were drinking in his living room when he fell asleep and didn’t wake up. The ghouls gave him a minute’s silence and carried on drinking. Life goes on. It was like a Guy Ritchie movie. I don’t know about you, but I get a little paranoid drinking with a dead body. I thought, what am I doing here? These idiots were brain dead. That could be me lying there, and the only thing we had in common was the booze. It was a wake-up call. Adios, amigo, time to jog on. So, I hopped on a train and went to Colchester. Stayed a few nights in a night shelter, and they moved me onto bedsits and flats. The last place was like living on Elm Street. And the neighbour thought he was Freddy. I couldn’t sleep at night. Thought he was staring at me through the wall. I spent ten miserable years there, then got out before I ended up in a mental hospital. Gave the landlord one week’s notice and went to Suffolk. That fucker was sad to see me go. Who was going to play with Damien? I now live in a nice place with friendly people. And I’ve been sober and drug clean for more than ten years.

Some people say ignorance is bliss, but that’s bullshit. I left school at 15 with no qualifications. I was illiterate until middle age. Then it hit me how dumb I was. If you’re an idiot, people treat you like an idiot. Lacking an education made it difficult to survive. So, I taught myself to read and write. I told myself if others could do it, so, could I. People like ex-slave Frederick Douglas in the 19th century who became a journalist, and a leader for human rights. He helped free slaves during the American Civil War. And Malcolm X who taught himself how to read and write in prison. He showed the world that a man can change despite everything going against him. But I was more of a Martin Luther King kind of guy. Peace, love, and integration. Some think you need a classroom for an education, but all throughout history there are many great people that have educated themselves and have proved that education isn’t solely dependent on an institution. It’s determination, self-motivation, and our thirst for knowledge that inspires us to learn. And given the right environment, we all have the capability to improve our minds. And now I can read and write fluently.

At a certain age, you start to realize that being dumb isn’t an easy life. You make bad choices and get involved with the wrong crowd. But now my eyes are open. Many underestimate the value of a good education. They think its only purpose is to find work. But there’s more to life. A good education teaches us about people and the world around us. And enables us to understand ourselves.

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