Larson Suddenly Single

A Lifeline For Anyone Who Has Sustained A Loss
1. Auflage 2009
ISBN: 978-1-4835-5235-4
Verlag: BookBaby
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: Adobe DRM (»Systemvoraussetzungen)

E-Book, Englisch, 213 Seiten

This book offers help for people who have suffered a loss. Larson examines in an easy-readying style what happens in grief and provides specific ways of coping with loss. His is engaging, readable and soulful without being maudlin and without pontificating. It is strangely enough a happy book about grief. - Author, John Vanderzee

Autoren/Hrsg.

Larson, Hal

Larson, Susan

Leseproben

[ I ]
THE BEGINNING
The soul would have no rainbows had the eyes no tears - John Vance Cheney Life is like an onion; you peel it off
One layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. — Carl Sandburg Chapter One
SUDDENLY!
your love is gone, and your world is upside down.
You have suffered a crushing loss. You hurt all over. And you don't know what is happening to you. All you know is that you ache because you have lost your love. The joys of love are but a moment long.
The pain of love endures your whole life long. — Jean Martini Help is here.
This book will help you live through your loss. It will help you understand the scary things that are happening to you now. The tears, the fears, the panic in the night. The numbness, the pain, the utter, utter loneliness. The guilt, the self-doubt, the trembling hands. The chilling conviction that no one understands. This book will explain those things and more and suggest how you can best cope with them. This book is about loss and grief and healing. And emerging strong and confident and whole. And it's about love. Because there can be no grief without love. Is it, in heav'n, a crime to love too well? — Alexander Pope Grief is the cost of love.
Grief is what happens when a whole love becomes halved. It is the inevitable cost of loving. Grief is mourning that part of ourselves that we gladly gave and lost, together with our love. This book is your guide through grief and into healing. We are not alone.
It helps to know we are not alone. Everyone, at one time or another, in one way or another, suffers the loss of a love. Mother, father, sibling, husband, wife, lover, child. Most of us suffer loss more than once. And no one is ever prepared for it. Give, oh give me back my heart. — Lord Byron We are never ready.
Even if we have seen it coming for a long time, we are not ready when it happens. We may think we can prepare ourselves, but we are never ready. Movies end when lovers get together. That's not the way it is in real life. In real life, getting together is a beginning. That's when the story starts. It's the beginning of a journey together. Love is the beginning.
O'er thee the sun doth pine
And angels mourn.
— Robert Bridges The real adventure of life
begins when we love. And in real life there is pain
when we lose our love. The books we read didn't prepare us for that. The movies we saw didn't prepare us for that. Nothing prepared us for the loss of a love. Nothing we have seen or done or learned has made us ready for this. Nothing. Once I laughed when 1 heard you saying
I'd be playing solitaire,
Uneasy in my easy chair.
It never entered my mind. — Lorenz Hart The pain will go away.
Good friends and this book will help us through the hurt. But the pain is something we must experience. And we must do that alone. The pain will go away. only to return again, and go away for a longer time. And our life will shape itself around those comings and goings, like cypress roots clinging to granite boulders. But the loss will always be there. And we must learn to accept that loss But two are walking apart for ever,
And wave their hands for a mute farewell. —Jean Ingelow Endings become beginnings.
Life is made of endings and beginnings. First light signals the end of night and the beginning of a brand new day. Winter ends and Spring begins. Spring gives way to Summer, which segues into the beginning of Autumn. The endings become beginnings. In truth, the ending creates the beginning. That is the cycle of life. And the seasons, they go round and round.
And the painted ponies go up and down.
We're captive on the carousel of time. —Joni Mitchell Loss can strengthen us.
Like iron that is tempered with fire, we can become stronger through our loss. It is difficult for us to see that now. And it certainly is not the path we would chose. But if we do the work of grieving as outlined in this book, we will acquire a new tensile strength. We will be stronger, more sure of ourself, ready to move ahead with the rest of our life. Well, Everyone can master a grief but
he that has it —William Shakespear Is there no pity sitting in the clouds
that sees to the bottom of my grief? —William Shakespeare Chapter Two
THE ANATOMY OF GRIEF
What You Need To Know Immediately
Right now, your mind is fighting your body. You have taken a crushing blow. The greatest emotional stress you can endure comes from the loss of a love. You are under very severe pressure. But part of your mind is saying business as usual. It is telling you that you should not feel the loss. From perfect grief there need not be
Wisdom or even memory. — Dante Rossetti Let yourself feel.
You have been taught from childhood to bottle up your feelings. You have been told that feeling and showing grief are signs of weakness. Society says that grownups should never show their hurt. But it's not society that is hurting. It's you. Accept your loss.
The single most important thing you can do now is accept your loss. Let yourself feel all the emotion of your loss. Give yourself permission to grieve. Allow yourself to feel and express what your body is telling you. Trying to control your feelings does not help. Trying to be "strong" gets in the way of healing. When you accept and feel your loss, you will be starting the long road back. Bone of my bone thou art, and from thy state
Mine shall never be parted. — John Milton Grief is not weakness.
Feeling your grief is not a sign of weakness. It is an essential part of healing. What you are feeling is normal and necessary. Those feelings will stay with you until you allow them out. Let yourself feel them and talk about them. Open the bottle and let them out. Don't be "brave".
Well-meaning friends may say "be brave" or "you'll feel fine tomorrow." That kind of advice invalidates your feelings, trivializes your loss. Don't be brave. You will not feel fine tomorrow. You will still hurt something awful. And you will hurt a whole lot longer if you try to deny your feelings. I bid farewell to every fear,
and wipe my weeping eyes. — Isaac Watts Do your grieving.
True friends allow you to grieve. They help by giving you permission to feel and express your loss. You are grieving for more than your love. You are grieving for the death of a future and for a part of you that is gone forever. You are grieving for the death of a dream. You are grieving for the end of what you were together. And for the wholeness that became halved. And I scarce know which part may greater be
What I keep of you, or you rob from me — George Santayana Don't deny your feelings.
What you need to do is begin the work of grieving. You need to work through your pain. Accept it. Feel it. Talk about it. You are finding that you can't control your feelings. So...