Birney Humphrey's Ho-Ho-Ho Book of Stories

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ISBN: 978-0-571-30758-6
Verlag: Faber & Faber
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, 624 Seiten

Dear Friends, I may be a small classroom hamster, but even I'm amazed at how many unsqueakably exciting adventures I've had. I've had a spooky mystery to solve on Halloween, nighttime escapades at school and even gone to Winter Wonderland. I've had so many HO-HO-HO hilarious adventures I've put some more of them into this big book to share with you! Your friend, Humphrey

Betty G. Birney worked at Disneyland and the Disney Studios, has written many children's television shows and is the author of over forty books, including the bestselling The World According to Humphrey, which won the Richard and Judy Children's Book Club Award, as well as a further nine books in the According to Humphrey series, and eight books in the Humphrey's Tiny Tales series. Her work has won many awards, including an Emmy and three Humanitas Prizes. She lives in America with her husband.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Birney, Betty G.

Leseproben

Worse

The final bell rang and everybody had taken a seat except the girl in a wheelchair, who was already sitting. There was still one empty chair left.

Mrs Brisbane went to the door and looked out into the hall.

‘Oh, there you are,’ she said.

She opened the door wider and a boy walked in.

‘You must be the missing student,’ Mrs Brisbane said.

‘I’m not missing,’ the boy answered. ‘I’m right here.’

I thought he’d be in big trouble so I was surprised when Mrs Brisbane smiled and directed him to the empty chair. Then she stood in the front of the class.

‘Good morning, class,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘Last year, I had one of the best classes ever. But I think this class will be even better!’

‘Better?’ I squeaked. ‘That was the BEST-BEST-BEST class in the whole wide world!’

‘BOING-BOING!’ Og agreed.

I wasn’t sure what I said was true. On the one paw, I couldn’t imagine a better class than the one we’d had last year. On the other paw, it was the only class I’d ever been in. But where had my classmates gone?

‘I’m going to rearrange the seating later in the day,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘But for now, I’ll take attendance.’

‘Are you listening, Og?’ I asked my neighbour. I can never be sure, because he doesn’t have any ears that I’ve ever seen. But he seems to understand me most of the time.

‘Are we dreaming?’ I wondered. So far, the morning felt like one of those dreams where everything seems almost the same as in real life but a lot weirder. For instance, I once had a dream where all of my human friends were rolling around in giant hamster balls. That was a very funny dream.

Once I dreamed that the class was being taught by Mrs Wright, the PE teacher. That wasn’t a funny dream because she was always blowing on her very loud whistle, which is painful to the small, sensitive ears of a hamster.

Again, Og didn’t answer me. Maybe frogs don’t dream.

Then Mrs Brisbane began to call out the strange words she had been saying before. It turns out they were names.

‘Kelsey Kirkpatrick?’

‘Here,’ the red-haired girl said, still rubbing her arm.

‘Harry Ito?’ Mrs Brisbane called out.

Harry was the boy who had been late to class.

She called on Simon, who answered, ‘Present!’

Present? I didn’t see any presents. Was it somebody’s birthday?

‘Rosie Rodriguez?’ Mrs Brisbane said.

The girl in the wheelchair waved her hand and shouted out, ‘Here!’

A boy named Thomas answered next, followed by a couple of girls, Phoebe and Holly.

‘Are you paying attention, Og?’ I asked my friend.

Og splashed a little but didn’t answer.

And then something really odd happened.

‘Paul?’ Mrs Brisbane asked.

Right away, not one but two voices replied, ‘Here.’

One of them was Small Paul from last year. The other Paul was the tall boy.

Mrs Brisbane smiled. ‘I forgot. This year we have two Pauls in our class. Paul Fletcher and Paul Green. Now, how will we tell you apart?’

That was an easy question. One of them was SMALL-SMALL-SMALL and one of them was TALL-TALL-TALL.

Small Paul and Tall Paul eyed each other. Neither of them looked happy to have another Paul in the class.

‘What did your teacher do last year?’ she asked.

‘He wasn’t in my class,’ Small Paul said.

‘I went to another school,’ Tall Paul added.

Mrs Brisbane nodded. ‘I see. Do either of you have a nickname?’

Both boys shook their heads.

‘Well, for now, let’s say Paul F. and Paul G. Is that all right with you?’ she asked.

Both boys nodded.

Then Mrs Brisbane called out one more name. ‘Joseph?’

A boy with curly brown hair shifted in his chair a little but didn’t answer.

Mrs Brisbane looked around at the class. ‘Is Joseph here?’

The boy with curly brown hair nodded. ‘Yes, ma’am,’ he said. ‘But it’s not Joseph. It’s Joey. Just Joey Jones.’

Mrs Brisbane smiled. ‘All right, then. Just Joey it is. Now, class, I’m looking forward to getting to know you and you getting to know me. In case you don’t know, I’m Mrs Brisbane.’

The teacher wrote her name on the board.

‘There are two other members of the class you need to know,’ she said.

Then she wrote my name on the board. ‘Humphrey is our classroom hamster,’ she said.

Everybody – and I mean everybody – turned to look at me.

Next, she wrote Og’s name on the board. ‘Og is our classroom frog. You’ll get to know them both very well this year. You’ll also have a chance to take Humphrey home for the weekend. I’ll tell you more about that this afternoon,’ she said.

The students all giggled and whispered and turned in their seats to look at us.

‘Tell them they’re in the wrong room!’ I suggested and some of the students close to my cage giggled when they heard me go, ‘SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK.’

The teacher ignored me. ‘First, let’s get to know each other a little better. Would you take out your summer boxes.’

‘Summer boxes?’ I squeaked. ‘What are they, Og?’

Summer was sunshine and campfires and unsqueakable fun. Summer wasn’t something you could just put in a box.

I’m not sure Og could hear me since he was splashing like crazy in his tank. But the strange students in class seemed to understand. They reached into their backpacks and pulled out boxes – all kinds of boxes – and put them on their desks.

‘How did they know about the boxes?’ I squeaked to Og. ‘Why didn’t we know?’

Og had no answer.

During the previous school year, I tried hard to keep up with my friends’ homework, taking tests along with them, writing papers and even poems. Mrs Brisbane didn’t know I did the work but I knew it, and that’s what counts.

‘All right, students. Let’s share our summer experiences,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘That way, I’ll learn a little bit about all of you. And you’ll learn about me, because I brought a box, too.’

Mrs Brisbane took a box out of a drawer and placed it on her desk.

‘I’ll tell you about my summer first,’ she said.

That got my attention. While I was at camp
for the summer, Mrs Brisbane was doing something else, but I still wasn’t really sure

‘My son lives in Tokyo, Japan,’ she said. ‘He’s a teacher there. This summer, he got married, so my husband and I went to Japan for the wedding.’

The smile on Mrs Brisbane’s face let me know that she’d had a GREAT-GREAT-GREAT time.

‘Weddings in Japan are very beautiful,’ she said. ‘The couple dresses in traditional Japanese kimonos.’

She held up a picture of a couple in very fancy clothes. ‘That’s my son, Jason, and his new wife, Miki.’ Mrs Brisbane sounded very proud.

She passed around some Japanese money for the students to see. Next, she took out a red plastic ball she’d bought in Tokyo. I couldn’t see it very well.

‘Something’s inside, Og!’ I scampered up to the top of my cage to get a better look.

‘BOING!’ he replied. I guess he couldn’t see either.

‘I hope Humphrey won’t be jealous,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘Meet Aki.’

She set the ball on the desk and the students howled with laughter as the ball started spinning wildly and coloured lights flashed.

‘Rockin’ Aki!’ a strange, loud voice wailed. ‘Rock ’n’ roll rules!’

The ball looped and twirled unexpectedly as the lights kept flashing and the music blared.

‘Where is Aki?’ I shouted to Og, as if anyone could hear my squeaks over the noise. ‘WHERE’S AKI?’

Mrs Brisbane shut the thing off.

‘Show it to Humphrey,’ Simon suggested.

‘Yes, show Humphrey,’ the other students begged.

So Mrs Brisbane brought the ball over to our table and set it down in front of my cage.

‘I hope Aki doesn’t scare you, Humphrey, but here goes.’ She pressed a button on the ball and it all began again: the flashing lights, the looping and twirling and that song, ‘Rockin’ Aki! Rock ’n’ roll rules!’

Now I could see what everyone was laughing at. Aki, a tiny toy hamster with wild, rainbow-striped fur, was rolling around in the hamster ball. Somehow, as the ball turned, he always remained upright as he danced.

I wasn’t scared – not one bit. But I was quite impressed!

‘Rockin’ Aki!’ I squeaked along. Of course, no one heard me. I couldn’t even hear myself. ‘Rock ’n’ roll rules!’

I was truly sorry when Mrs Brisbane switched Aki off.

‘I think that’s enough rocking and rolling for today,’ she said.

Some of the kids moaned and I agreed with them.

Mrs Brisbane returned the ball to her desk. ‘So now you know what I did this summer. I also sent letters to all of your homes asking you to bring in a box with something that represents your summer. Who would like to share next?’

I just had to squeak up for myself. ‘Hey, nobody sent me a letter!’

‘BOING-BOING!’ Og added.

Some hands went up in the air and Mrs Brisbane called on Simon. ‘Say your name first,’ she said.

Simon jumped up out of his chair, opened his box...