Ross / Cole Seven Secrets of Worry-Free Living

Finding Freedom from Fear, Anxiety & Stress
1. Auflage 2015
ISBN: 978-1-4245-5064-7
Verlag: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, 160 Seiten

Worry and its fraternal twins anxiety and stress affect our mind, body, and spirit-and can make us miserable. In these practical pages, Dr. Arnie Cole and Michael Ross-with contributions from leading researcher Pamela Ovwigho, PhD-help readers to identify the root cause and provide easy-to-follow plans to find relief. This insightful and easy-to-read resource includes Bible-based wisdom, advice, and treatment options from psychological and medical professionals. Our bodies are not designed for a continual state of fear, worry, and anxiety, but instead for continual tranquility with short bursts of adrenaline. Seven Secrets of Worry-free Living shows how anyone can break the cycle of unnecessary suffering and find peace.

MICHAEL ROSS is an award-winning journalist and the author, co-author, and collaborator of more than 32 books for Christian families, including a Gold Medallion winner BOOM: A Guy's Guide to Growing Up, and a bestselling parenting guide What Your Son Isn't Telling You. Michael is the former editor of Breakaway, a national magazine for teen guys published by Focus on the Family. Today, he oversees Back to the Bible's book publishing efforts. He and his wife Tiffany live in Lincoln, Nebraska, with their son Christopher.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Ross, Michael

Cole, Arnie

Leseproben

Chapter One

THE SECRET OF WISDOM

Anxious thoughts swirl through our brains when we’re tired, when we’re sick, when we’re crawling through snarled traffic, when we’re late for a big meeting. Fear kicks in as our safety is threatened and our circumstances slide out of control. Our brain, on full alert, launches into a fight-or-flight state; adrenaline surges and races everywhere inside us (no need for a highly caffeinated supersized double shot of anything).

The fear-worry-stress cycle is on the rise, in us and in our families. And the research from the Center for Bible Engagement (a division of Back to the Bible) reveals that Christ-followers are every bit as worried as the rest of the world.

   Ben feels trapped by a dead-end job and frets about his future.

   Leslie is panicked about some bad choices her college-age son is making.

   Sarah wonders who will take care of her now that she’s eighty—and alone.

   And four-year-old Evan feels so anxious that his teachers don’t know how to help. The moment his mother leaves after bringing him to preschool, immobilizing fear washes over him and holds on tight.

What’s going on? A small child’s world should be filled with wonder, not inundated with worry. And how can it be that of 2,600 respondents, more than half described themselves as “often worried and fearful”? (As to whether they worry most days of the week, 66 percent of Christian women and 56 percent of Christian men said yes.)

It’s partly because of what we’ve come to expect and accept. Most of us believe it’s normal to be busy—frantically racing through day after day, multitasking from deadline to deadline. Combine that with how we’ve become depersonalized and isolated on our computers and devices, at our jobs, in our communities—even in our homes and our churches. These cultural conditions make commonplace the maladies of stress and anxiety. Something else is at play too: many of us thrive on the excitement of an adrenaline rush, especially those who crave exhilaration and chase after energy that they perceive will spur them to achieve great things.

Yet adrenaline is addictive, and the crashes after the rushes, which our bodies bring about in order to recover, tend to result in persistent fatigue and even depression (much more on this in chapter 5). With worry and stress also in the mix, myriad health problems can arise: dizziness, racing heartbeat, rapid breathing and/or shortness of breath, headache, inability to concentrate, irritability, muscle tension, nausea, nervous energy, and more. Over time, a state of adrenalized anxiety can lead to serious physiological consequences:

   Depressed immune system (making it harder to fight off diseases like cancer)

   Digestive disorders

   Muscle tension

   Increased chances of triggering clinical depression

   Changes in blood chemistry (heightening risk of [for instance] adult-onset diabetes)

   Impairment of the body’s ability to form new cells

   Short-term memory loss

   Premature coronary artery disease

   Elevated blood pressure

   Heart failure

At the same time, doctors point out that stress isn’t the sole culprit. Actually, stress is just a trigger—it’s how we handle stress that matters most. There are effective steps and lifestyle changes every member of the family can take! Christians really do hold the keys to real transformation and meaningful growth. Our lives can be different—less stressful, freer, happier, and far more fulfilling. Our Worry-Wise Plan (we’ll get to this in chapter 3) will walk you through a mind-body-spirit approach to finding relief. After identifying the relevant physiological and emotional factors, you can plot a God-centered solution to handling worry.

Before we find solutions, though, we’ve got to understand the problem: what’s negatively affecting us and why. As I (Arnie)—along with my research colleague, Dr. Pam Ovwigho—analyzed the spiritual lives of 2,600 Christians, Michael pursued and conducted the interviews for this book. Together we met men, women, and children whose worry tendencies stem from a wide range of difficult struggles, sometimes including panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

In this chapter, we’ll dive into the data, explore what worries us, and examine beliefs about worry. Then we’ll talk about ways of coping with worry: How do we stop the worry cycle once it’s started? Is it possible to sidestep worry altogether? We’ll conclude with a focus on the spiritual side of worry.

HOW STRESSED ARE WE?

Since 2007, the American Psychological Association has conducted an annual “Stress in America” survey, which examines how stressed we are, what causes our stress, and how we cope with it. According to the findings of the 2010 APA survey, about half of all adults have experienced a moderate amount of stress in the previous month, and about one in four were extremely stressed.1

Those who participated in our study reported similar stress levels. However, there are notable differences by age and gender. Two broad-spectrum examples: the stress that women report feeling is more than what men report, and adults between ages thirty and fifty-nine contend with the highest levels of extreme stress.

WORRY’S MOST FREQUENT FACETS

Ask a couple thousand people what they worry about most and you’ll quickly recognize that, whether presently at a high or a low point of stress (“stress-point”), nearly everyone can name something they worry about, even if only occasionally. While details of specific worries certainly vary depending on circumstances, there are themes to what sends most of us into worry mode.

We find many ways to ask and then proceed to imagine what could go wrong. Let’s explore what these most often center on, at different life stages.

What if … something happens to my family?

Our most frequent worries center on those closest to our hearts, the people we love. Family concerns are by far the most common. This is true overall as well as across genders and across all age groups except tweens. Women do worry about family more than men do, and family worries increase as we age, peaking in the thirty-to-fifty-nine range.

For tweens, family worries focus primarily on their parents—from parents’ health to parents’ financial concerns. Kids worry that they’ll split up, especially when hearing them argue. They also fear their parents won’t be proud of them or that circumstances such as parental separation or incarceration would result in their parents not living with them anymore.

Later life stages bring family worries that expand to include emotional health and spiritual concerns as well as physical safety. Believers often question whether certain loved ones will choose to follow Christ. In addition, as we age our worries focus more on children and grandchildren, even though concerns about our parents remain. Sometimes we fret about our relational roles:

.

, Into the Wardrobe

The following statements illustrate many of our worries about family:

“I worry about …

“… my family. My infant son was diagnosed with a food allergy, and we’ve been in the ER twice with him in his first fifteen months, due to severe reaction.… Most of my worry is [from being] constantly on alert to make sure he doesn’t eat something he shouldn’t.”

“… my children and their friendships, if they’re associating with Christian friends.”

“… my wife potentially cheating on me. I am a stepfather and dealing with the deadbeat that doesn’t pay for much of anything, yet he’s looked at as a hero by his kids.”

“… whether I’m spending enough time with God, family, and others who are important in my life.”

“… my family, which encompasses so much: health, finances, shelter, food, clothing, hoping for college for my children.”

“… the children in our family, that they would not be drawn away from God into the world. [Also] about our family being healthy and having enough money.”

“… my kids—their future (careers, finances, life skills).”

“… my grown children … their walk with God, their finances and health.”

“… being a good mom and not neglecting my children’s needs. Raising my children in a way that [they] turn out to be ‘good,’ well-balanced adults.”

“… whether my husband and I will ever have children of our own.”

“… if my family is going to be restored back to me as the Lord has promised me.”

What if … my finances fail?

Current money woes or, even more often, possible future financial problems top the “worry list” for many...