Steinbrecher / Schaefer Meaningful Alignment

Mastering Emotionally Intelligent Interactions At Work and in Life
1. Auflage 2019
ISBN: 978-1-5439-6933-7
Verlag: BookBaby
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: PC/MAC/eReader/Tablet/DL/kein Kopierschutz

E-Book, Englisch, 230 Seiten

What is worse than having a high-stakes conversation? Avoiding one. By our basic nature, many of us have difficulty handling emotionally charged conversations. Our capacity to manage emotions, handle conflict, and communicate authentically is not innate - it must be learned. Meaningful Alignment will provide you with well-defined, practical, and effective tools to manage your emotions and deftly facilitate the emotions of others during a tough conversation. Diminish stress with the skills outlined in this book and experience more satisfaction from your relationships, at home and at work. About the story... Carl is an overworked, stressed-out executive who feels he is losing control in many areas of his life. At work, his productivity deteriorates, and he clashes with a peer. His home situation is not much better: he quarrels with his wife, and his son has stopped communicating with him. Carl feels as though his life is on the verge of imploding as multiple difficulties bring him to the brink of disaster. With the help of a coach and a wise mentor, Carl learns how to build emotional resilience and facilitate the emotions of others - without losing control. Using the Meaningful Alignment program methods, Carl learns to manage his emotions and skillfully navigate high-stakes conversations, with composure and resilience.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Steinbrecher, Susan

Schaefer, Robert

Leseproben

CHAPTER ONE IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SPRING DAY. The air was fresh with new life. Carl was on an empty road, driving…just driving. Leaving the city behind. Soon, he found himself on a lonely back road with gently sloping farm fields and woodland on either side. He rolled down the window and took in a few deep breaths. The air was sweet and fragrant, and the smell of the earth awakening was all around him. The road was empty. He allowed himself to relax and release the strain of life. He felt alive and free. As he drove with no destination in mind, something urged him ever forward. A hazy sadness overtook him, an undefined longing tugging at him, beckoning to him. He decided to simply let it go, to quiet his mind and be in the moment. He opened himself to the beauty of creation. He felt a sense of connection to everything, as though the rhythm of the universe flowed through him. He slowed to a stop on the dusty dirt road to take it all in. Pristine evergreens flanked the bends of the meandering route. He looked around at the tall pines. The peaceful breeze set them gently swaying, while birdsong punctuated the sound of the wind through the trees… Wheee…Wheeee…Wheeeeee… The alarm sounded like a siren wailing throughout the room, leaping out from the corners, echoing through his head. What a dream…! He could still feel the crisp coolness of the air and smell the earthy pines as he drove that winding road. And the sense of freedom—he wished it could go on forever. Carl sat up in a sleepy stupor, dangling his feet over the edge of the bed. I guess I shouldn’t have had that third beer last night. Or was it four? A few drinks always helped relieve the unremitting sense of apprehension that he felt day after day. Dread owned him, it seemed. And right in this moment, it was pushing against him like an invisible weight, attempting to shove him back to bed and back into that beautiful dream. He reached over and turned off the alarm. “Older and wiser.” That was how his friends had teased him at his birthday get-together last week. Not a chance… At forty-seven, Carl felt lost at sea. He never awoke refreshed and ready to greet the day anymore. Everything ached, and his body felt like an anchor. No question, he had issues. His doctor had read him the riot act at his yearly physical. “You’re at least twenty pounds overweight, Carl, and I don’t like the look of your blood work,” he’d cautioned. “Your cholesterol is too high, as is your sugar, and you have high inflammatory biomarkers, which all point to imminent cardiovascular issues. These results, combined with the fact that your blood pressure is borderline high, are indications that you need to change your lifestyle—and soon.” Dr. Ennis had a way of looking right through him. Carl had not been surprised by his doctor’s warnings—he just didn’t feel right. Yet instead of taking action, he’d settled into a comfortable state of suspended disbelief. Part of him sensed there was something waiting for him—something earth-shattering—over the next horizon. He felt ashamed that his current lifestyle was so far removed from that of the guy who’d worked out at the gym three to four times a week and had always been up on the latest healthy cooking trends. Cooking was creative; he loved putting together wholesome meals and feeling proud that he knew the breakdown of every nutrient, calorie and gram of fat. It was also fun. But that was when he actually had the time and the energy for it. It was stressful knowing he wasn’t healthy. Maybe that was what was keeping him awake at night… Most nights, after waking several times, he couldn’t get back to sleep, worrying about work or family issues. Last night had been no different—a write-off. Ugh…all I want to do is lie in bed for the rest of the day. Carl looked at the notebook on the bedside table and flipped it open to the first few pages. He remembered that he had scrawled something in it before bed. I can’t talk to my son anymore. It’s like he’s on a different planet. His phone has become an appendage. How do I get through to him? I hope it’s not drugs… Carl was worried about his only child. At thirteen, Sam seemed sullen and antisocial. Every time Carl tried to talk to him, Sam would clam up and go back to his phone. Carl couldn’t talk to his wife about it, but he knew she was very concerned as well. Maria was so high-strung these days, he was sure her blood pressure was affected too—her reactions were so severe. He didn’t want to talk to his friends about his son either. They would just try to joke him out of it and tell him he was imagining things. Besides, he wasn’t even sure what was wrong—so how would he explain it? There were times that he felt so powerless, so ineffective as a parent. He had to do something. Several months ago, after a major project at work blew up, Carl had seen the notebook in the desk drawer of the study. He’d opened it and immediately begun making brief observations about things that were bothering him. He hid it in a drawer and grabbed it whenever the mood struck—usually late at night after he’d had a couple of drinks to relax. It couldn’t hurt. Writing was something Carl had enjoyed throughout college—he’d even written a song for Maria when they were dating. But it was something he had given up on long ago, before life had become so rushed and unbelievably thorny. No more time for reflection… He jumped up to get in the shower. Maria was late, as usual. She got up at least forty-five minutes before Carl, but somehow she was always scrambling. In her rushing she became somewhat clumsy. “Darn it, Carl,” she shouted, “why can’t you clean up after yourself?” A beer bottle crashed to the floor. Here she goes again. He sighed. Last night’s argument was still bothering him. Maria had made another “big speech.” Something about the fact that he didn’t pay attention to her and that she felt ignored. It was always the same thing, over and over again. What did she expect? Work was so stressful, and their finances were strained. And now these issues with their son…Carl was simultaneously drained and dejected. “You’re either on your phone or glued to the TV,” she’d begun. “Oh, come on, you’re exaggerating,” Carl had countered. “No, I’m not. I feel like you don’t care. You never listen to what I say anyway, so what’s the point.” “You’re overreacting! Let’s face it, no matter what I do you’re never satisfied.” “Why are we even together?” More and more these days, Maria concluded their arguments with that ominous question. Their fights had become a never-ending script of negativity, played out until one of them stormed from the room or shut down. Carl felt their marriage might be at the point of no return. He worried there was no way out of this mess, and he was sick and tired of sleeping in the guest room after they quarreled. Carl reflected on their life together when they were first married. Life had seemed so much simpler then. They were young and in love, living in a small two-bedroom apartment in a house in Glendonwynne Village, a leafy older neighborhood west of the city. Glendonwynne was teeming with great markets, restaurants and a brand-new community center. Carl and Maria would meet at the apartment each day after work at six-thirty, go for a quick workout, cook dinner together or go out to eat at one of the local places that catered to health-conscious young professionals. They were always lively eateries, full of friendly staff and delicious food. Once Maria became pregnant with Sam, though, things began to change. Carl and Maria realized that within nine months they would quickly outgrow their cozy apartment and felt it was time to buy into the housing market. The problem was, the market had experienced a recent upswing and prices were almost out of reach—but they both believed if they didn’t jump in they’d regret it. They purchased a “fixer-upper” further west of the city and hired a contractor to do some cosmetic renovations. One thing led to another as the contractor unearthed some insidious and costly structural issues: the roof needed replacing, the plumbing was cast iron and leaking in several places, and there was some mold inside the ceiling of the front hallway that had to be removed by a team of experts. The bills started piling up. On top of that, the city had begun harmonizing zoning bylaws across several municipalities, and building permits were delayed. The house sat empty, gutted to the studs, for months. While the house was still under construction, Maria gave birth to Sam and the couple came home to the apartment. They were in a state of “baby bliss.” The young parents were so happy, they didn’t care that it was cramped and getting more and more cluttered with toys and other baby gear every day. We were so close back then… Carl recalled the times he would cook while Maria fed the baby, and then they would eat dinner by candlelight or in front of a romantic movie together while Sam slept soundly in...