Bühlmann The Metamorphosis of the Zurich bunker

The "bunker" Phenomenon: Power, Prestige, Carrot, and the Stick
1. Auflage 2024
ISBN: 978-3-7565-8414-7
Verlag: neobooks
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Deutsch, 125 Seiten

Everything is swept on a daily basis; everything is swept under the rug... The white doctors' smock that an 'office zombie' no longer needs is dusted daily. Working means getting rid of things. Do everything possible to keep a clean slate. Frustrations are passed on to other employees and the resulting consequences, such as stress-related illnesses (cancer, burnout, depression, compulsions, suicides, etc.), are covered up and swept under the rug with a broom. There are power struggles; strategic alliances are established. The goal is to protect one's own advantage in order to gobble up 'perks'. Everything is supposedly sacred, and the facade hides dark abysses. The abyss of the 'bunker'! Pressure, stress, hyperactivity due to bore- dom, existential fears due to threats of losing your job if you do not play along... Team spirit is based on lies and deceit. People complain and gossip, but only behind other people's backs. Rumour mongering at its finest. Proof and alibis are invented. Employees are constantly monitored so that their pressure points are exposed when they start questioning the perk club's presence in the bunker. Still, even the best 'perk profiteers' are not happy because they are under constant pressure to make sure that nothing is exposed... Maybe they'd like some marijuana instead! Perhaps there are even better options?

Andrea Bühlmann, born in 1977, has hands-on experience in various organizations at the intersection of science and politics, she is familiar with team building processes and can evaluate the impact of operations. This practical experience was consolidated scientifically by her post-graduate studies in 'Health Services and Management' at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Bühlmann, Andrea

Leseproben

Act II - On the Roof Terrace

The roof terrace of the bunker. There is an indoor area with a coffee machine, a couple of tables and chairs, a sofa, and a big-screen TV. Everything’s very fashionable, but uncomfortable and sterile.

On the terrace, there are deck chairs painted white with matching umbrellas. There’s a foosball table on the other side of the roof terrace. Some people are playing and having fun. There’s a mess on the somewhat stuffy, umbrella side of the roof terrace. Most of the men are in suits, and they pretend to talk about health policy. It sounds good, but they’re only chitchatting. The employees complain to one another. There’s an outrageous amount of smoking in the smoking area, but rarely is anything discussed.

The Singing Bowl Princess gets a cup of coffee from the new coffee machine. She takes some sugar and a spoon out of a drawer. Since all the drawers look the same, she has to pull out three drawers before she picks the right one. Trendy, but not functional! Then she goes to the roof terrace and sits down in a deck chair next to the Chief of drudge’s Secretary. She takes her sunglasses out of a jute bag, glances at the sun, and takes a deep breath. The two women are only barely acquainted with one another. The Singing Bowl Princess stirs the sugar around in her coffee tries to find a suitable discussion topic.

(Singing Bowl Princess):

We’ve recently received an invitation to this building’s grand opening with your signature on it. The invitation gives the impression that it’ll be a big party. Do you know anything more about it?

(Chief of drudge’s Secretary) rolls her eyes: I do not agree with the dress code. It was arranged that way.

(Singing Bowl Princess): I only heard about the dress code in passing. What is it, exactly?

(Chief of drudge’s Secretary) rolls her eyes and laughs ironically:
Dress code 007, here comes Bond, James Bond! I think it’s really embarrassing. It is a party for employees and the Chief of drudge wants to make it into some posh ball. I’m going in jeans. The Chief of drudge can’t be persuaded to drop his crazy idea. Instead of a party to lighten-up the internal mood, the atmosphere will only be more stuck up because of this dress code.

(Singing Bowl Princess):

Maybe we shouldn’t take the dress code too seriously. After everyone’s had a few drinks, this party will certainly look very different. (Also she laughs ironically, because the company provides addiction prevention services). Perhaps it is better to have a beach party, like surfers on the beach, with hibiscus flower garlands around our necks. Fluorescent-coloured sunglasses could be handed out so that you can’t even see who you’re talking to, dancing with, or even kissing. A couple of hammocks could be hung up. There could be a few palm trees for decoration and maybe you could also distribute a few joints to lift the mood. (laughs ironically because she is the addiction expert in the bunker)

(Chief of drudge’s Secretary):

I’ve read about those pot clubs in the paper. What do you think about them? (pointing with her finger to an item in the newspaper that is crumpled on the little table). Winterthur is about to open?!?

(Singing Bowl Princess):

It is a huge mess! The media can’t stop covering it. They give the impression that the clubs are open twenty-four hours a day and that smoking pot in Switzerland is already legal. That’s not true at all! This issue is only a kind of political agenda. It may take years until something changes. I get the impression that the media doesn’t have anything else to talk about. Just today I had a phone conversation with an alleged “marijuana growing genius” from Amsterdam. He told me that he’d be standing outside the door of the bunker and that he wanted to talk to me. It’s about granting a permit to a pot club. He flew in especially from Amsterdam and would like to move his family to beautiful Switzerland and build this pot business. I had to get rid of him. I told him that it’s illegal and that he’d be punishable by law if he tries running it. He didn’t want to sell illegal things. He also claimed that there are pot clubs in Winterthur. Maybe he’ll give a lecture in Zurich, which is a little more open to the pot clubs; maybe he can give them his insider info about the permissible amount of THC content in the plants. The cities are the best places to create political pressure; the canton is too conservative. I gave him the address at least.

It’ll be good if the media forces the issue, because it’s time to find a better solution. There would be a scientific study of the effects of cannabis, a new production of organic cannabis without pesticides and other additives, like the natural growing method used in the Jamaican mountains. The active ingredients of the plant shouldn’t be overbred. You shouldn’t forget that cannabis is actually a medicinal plant, a natural wonder. But we shouldn’t destroy the miracle drug by overbreeding for the active ingredients in the plants in totally excessive amounts. The quality won’t get better by prohibiting the plant through the Narcotics Act. On the contrary...

(Chief of drudge’s Secretary): Have you ever smoked pot?

(Singing Bowl Princess):

Yeah, of course! I’m environmental scientist who has partici- pated in this kind of experiment ever since my Swiss Federal Institute of Technology days. That substance doesn’t do anything good for me. I don’t need a joint to shoot the shit. I hit every pot smoker in my imagination. I already hated smoking in my childhood. I start coughing, even around cigarettes. One time, I smoked a joint as part of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology’s “Wildflower Field Trip” when camping in the rough at the Simplon Pass. I was already vegging out after my first drag, after coughing, of course. I felt like I would have to drink the whole lake. I got so thirsty! For some reason, I lost a bet I had made with a few other people and had to swim in the lake. All of us lost our breath when we ran into the icy water. Have you ever smoked pot?

(Chief of drudge’s Secretary) gets nervous: I...

(Man with Suit and Tie) joins in and laughs:

Smoke pot?! I’d like to smoke pot again. Ah, those were the days! I’ve heard that Dr. Subjugation had a traumatic experience with pot.

(Singing Bowl Princess):

You can say that again! He almost freaks out even if he only hears the word! He starts shaking all over and breaks out his whip. Not the broom, the whip! That’s exactly the kind of personality that would benefit from smoking some weed!

(Man with Suit and Tie) laughs:

Maybe I’ll go ask him about it.

Suddenly, the topics change in the background, and everyone wants to talk about their old stoner stories. Some laugh, others remain serious and shake their heads. There are also those who look at their watches and leave the roof terrace.

(Singing Bowl Princess) leaves the roof terrace and turns again to the secretary:
Even though smoking marijuana isn’t my thing, I’m sympathetic to stoners. (winks): They’re not so uptight. The way I see the Chief of drudge, someone could certainly convince him to have a beach party. You only have to use the right words, and you’d be able to go in jeans. He makes political statements about freedom, common sense, and progress. I also saw him yesterday on his bicycle. This is also a kind of political statement. He can win over only a small part of the population with his Porsche. Smoking pot is the same thing. If the stoners know that he’s practically a “freedom fighter” and that he has a liberal attitude towards cannabis, then they won’t “impose” the vote. You know, there’ll be elections again soon.

(Chief of drudge’s Secretary) disagrees:

The invitations have already been sent; most employees will probably have bought their new cocktail dresses by tomorrow. Maybe I should convince the Chief of drudge to add a “dress bonus” to everyone’s pay next month.

The next day

Dr. Struwwelpeter and Dr. Bric-a-brac are present.

(Dr. Struwwelpeter) comes in without even saying hello:

Ah, the nursery again! That’s just stupid. The coaching still hasn’t borne any fruit. You always have to take care of everything. And on weekends, I have to watch my mother-in- law. I mean, she thought that she could lay out with us in the garden on the deck chair and sun bathe, half naked, with her wrinkled skin. What would the neighbours in the “Züriberg” think if they saw my mother-in-law like that? It’s just embarrassing, so embarrassing. My husband doesn’t care about who might talk! The damage to our VW bus hasn’t been fixed yet. The mechanic’s quote is overpriced. Those people in Ticino want 7000 Swiss francs to make it roadworthy again. Maybe they know that I come from Züriberg. Then they’ll make it a few thousand francs more expensive. I have to take care of everything. Where’s my water bottle, who has my water bottle? It’s good that I labelled my water bottle. (goes looking for her water bottle)

(Dr. Bric-a-brac) says to herself:

I got the opportunity to participate in a management course for horizontal leadership. Now I can also come to the office on other days. I can look through the materials and do the exercises during work time. This way, I can also get some overtime. The homework says to test team employees. I’ll do...