Hassler Body Language

Read People Like a Book and Detect Their Thoughts (volume 1)
1. Auflage 2020
ISBN: 978-3-7487-2689-0
Verlag: BookRix
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 0 - No protection

E-Book, Englisch, 124 Seiten

Reihe: 1

Body language may be even more crucial to our social skills than verbal communication. The way to discover more about what people re trying to say when they don't say anything, is to study it. That's where this guide comes in. Have you ever wondered how people flirt by just a look, a body gesture, or a facial expression? Have you ever wondered how you can read clues and signs about what people are thinking? Did you ever take a closer look at the signs of attraction, repulsion, or some other emotions people will express, but won't say? Then you've come at the right place. This book will be an eye-opener. Don't wait and learn more about various nonverbal communication techniques now.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Hassler, Judie

Leseproben

Chapter 6: Strong Ties


However long you've known an individual and whatever the setting of your relationship, there'll be a short phase of 'settling in after the initial greetings are over. Outwardly, you might seem just to be exchanging fundamental information about yourselves, in simple fact, on a non-verbal level there will be a lot more going on as you align your individual nonverbal communication styles to adjust to that complementary nonverbal communication rhythm called "rapport. Attaining rapport is an instinctive human skill Children do it even before birth, when their heart beats and body functions have a rhythm that matches those of their mom. By several months old, they will already have learned the other main component of rapport, turn-taking'- Baby gurgles and smiles, Mother responds with a coo and a smile, Child gurgles and smiles again. As adults, we no longer resort to gurgling to get a response! We do, though, use non-verbal cues to both 'match' and 'tumn-take." You match when both of you use up the exact same body posture, unconsciously copy gestures or emphatically nod just when your companion is emphatically saying a specific expression. You turn-take instinctively. rotating remarks motions and smiles. When your rapport is truly good, the words aren't important-your complementary body language says it all But what if things aren't working out? People's bodies relocate to extremely different rhythms and there can be a mismatch. The symptoms are apparent and awkward. You feel ill at ease without knowing why. One of you gets eager to speak while the other won't turn over the chance to talk. Rather than seamless turn-taking, you butt in and trip over each other or the silences get longer. At this moment, you might think it's since you have nothing in common. Your discomfort, however, is much more very likely to be because of a mismatch not of interests but of body language (particularly if your associate is new and you have not yet learned whether you work). Rather just, your rhythms don't fit. If you want to take action to feel more comfortable with another person, use this nonverbal communication strategy: quite simply match their rhythms actively rather than leaving it to chance Observe the other person's posture, then move quickly into copying it. I they change posture, do so too. Notice their rhythm of words and gestures, and follow it-a small nod when they nod, a slight lean forward when they say something absolutely, a flicker of a finger to mark their gestural rhythm. Be so tuned in to your companion that you turn-take naturally, speaking when they stop, slowing down when they want to start. For the first few minutes, deliberately matching an alien rhythm will feel uncomfortable: if it didn't, your body would already have done it automatically. And you have to be subtle about what you are doing or the other person might feel mocked or imitated. The secret is to keep your movements small and your paralleling shifts of posture or expression hardly obvious. Keep going, however, and 2 things will eventually start to happen. First, with practice, your body will feel more at ease and comfortable Second, as the other person is assured by the way you are synchronizing your responses with theirs, they will begin to integrate more with you, following your natural rhythm, moving into your natural position, smiling when you smile. Your two rhythms will coincide: you will build good relationships.

The art of discussions It might be a cliché, but it is nevertheless true that the key to successful conversation is good listening-- this is what makes other people take pleasure in talking with you. However, good listening isn't only about asking pertinent questions. The consistent non-verbal signals of your interest are actually more vital than your periodic verbal queries, though well phrased. The best way to send the right signals is, of course, really to listen, shutting out your own thoughts and concentrating on what your companion is telling you. If you do this, you're going to spontaneously offer the nonverbal communication that a great listener does: you will look at your companion, you are going to naturally lean towards them and angle your head slightly to one side in order to hear them better. You won't fidget or fiddle: your body will stay still and attentive, other than for any small matching of posture or gesture. For additional impact, you can also raise the volume on your nonverbal communication signs of attentiveness Human entities are naturally programmed to feel good when they get a reaction from someone else, so the more feedback you give to someone who is talking, the more valued they're going to feel.

Begin by angling your body towards the person who's talking, and you will be offering a nonverbal invitation to speak. Follow up by the routine head nod, which in human entities shows understanding. Make certain you nod plainly and in synchrony with what your companion is saying, demonstrating your comprehension just when they're emphasizing an important word or phrase. If they make a truly essential point, give a long, sluggish nod, which says, 'I'm taking you seriously' Be wary, though, of the 'nodding dog syndrome"; irrelevant nods signal that your mind is roaming, double nods tell others to speed up their rate of talking, while triple nods may bring people to a confused standstill! Also take care to show your companion's emotions. When somebody speaks, what they want is for others to laugh or cry along with them. 50 if your companion laughs, make certain you at least smile, if their body language shows unhappiness, let your expression become serious; if they snap as they recount a story, mirror that inflammation by making your head nods faster and sharper. And if you ask an important question, add a small tilt of the head, a small frown or a half-smile. This says 'I need to know more, not since you've been uncertain, but because you've been so fascinating.' This indication helps you query what a person is saying without threatening them, to encourage them to clarify farther. There is only one disadvantage: your companion might actually believe you're so interested that they continue talking for hours!

THE SMOOTH TALKER Have you ever listened to an electronic voice, stripped of all visual and tonal signals, and be baffled and irritated? If so, you're going to know that it's nonverbal communication that gives speech meaning, including vital extra info about what's being said, creating mood and giving emphasis. The first rule when speaking is to keep nonverbal contact with your listener. This contact can be forgotten as you focus only on the words. For instance, it's natural to avert regularly when you speak, to help the thinking procedure (see page 45): so it can be tempting to lose eye contact entirely. If you catch yourself doing this intentionally glance at your listener whenever you can, to consist of and include them. In addition, ensure that your body language shows what you're actually saying. The most interesting speakers tend to use gestures, voice tone and facial expression so as to clarify and highlight their speech. So understand the words and expressions you use that are important to you so that you can provide the necessary focus. There are points of focus in every sentence, from 'Can you get me a new shampoo?' To when they say, 'Not that way, that way!' Each time, they nonverbally worry these points in particular. Instinctive ways of doing this include: raising or reducing your tone, decreasing your speech, broadening your eyes, vanquishing the emphasis with a nod of your head or a wave of your hand known as a 'baton gesture because it looks as if you are conducting your own individual verbal orchestra). Naturally, if you are not used to varying your nonverbal communication like this to develop interest, you might at first exaggerate it, and feel silly or embarrassed. So first watch how others succeed, then experiment gradually with gestures or voice tones that come naturally. To attain this, keep in mind the words that are very important to you, the ones you automatically stress then exaggerate that vocal stress a little, with tone, pitch or speed. Add in movement -a head nod, then a really small forward lean that takes the head nod one stage further. Use the baton gesture, letting your leading' hand (typically the right one) mark your head nod with the kind of movement that is most spontaneous for you. One good way to rehearse all this is on the phone: that way, there'll be no startled looks when you wave your arms around! Finally, show genuine feeling in your speech. Know anything you say that has an emotional undercurrent. Enable yourself to experience some of that emotion: the embarrassment you felt when you dropped the spaghetti, the shock you felt when the waiter spilled the soup. Then let your body show your emotion naturally allow your voice to reflect it somewhat in tone and pitch, and your face to mirror it discreetly in expression, particularly through your eyes, eyebrows and mouth, the primary channels for psychological communication. You'll draw your listener into your experience, making it even more vivid for them.

BALANCING ACT Much of the art of discussions depends on creating a balance between everyone's contribution-an extension of the turn-taking rhythm of rapport described earlier. Successful speakers control this balance by using non-verbal signals to show they have finished speaking, or that they want to contribute. Unfortunately, not everybody knows these signals, uses them or respond to them. If you're the listener,...