Solomons My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord

eBook
ISBN: 978-0-85763-601-0
Verlag: Nosy Crow Ltd
Format: EPUB
Kopierschutz: 6 - ePub Watermark

E-Book, Englisch, Band 2, 304 Seiten

Reihe: My Brother is a Superhero

Reissues don't come funnier than this! The action-packed sequel to the bestselling My Brother Is a Superhero - winner of the Waterstones Children's Book Prize and the British Book Industry Awards Children's Book of the Year. Save the world? Luke can't even get picked for football... Zack and Lara have superpowers. Luke has new school shoes and a burning sense of resentment. He KNOWS that aliens disguised as gym teachers are about to attack Earth but will anyone listen? No. So one dodgy pact with a self-styled supervillain later, and Luke is ready to save the world. He just needs to find his trainers. Packed with heart and soul, this series is perfect for fans of good jokes everywhere. Have you read the other stories in this superb series? - My Brother Is a Superhero - My Gym Teacher is an Alien Overlord - My Evil Twin is a Supervillain - My Arch-Enemy is a Brain in a Jar - My Cousin is a Time-Traveller

David Solomons' debut children's book, My Brother is a Superhero topped the Sunday Times children's bestseller charts and won The Waterstone's Children's Book Prize and British Book Awards Children's Book of the Year. It has been sold in 23 languages and spawned four further books in the series. The first book in his latest comedy adventure series, Spyglass, will be published in 2026. He lives in Dorset with his two children, Luke and Lara.

Autoren/Hrsg.

Solomons, David

Leseproben

2

DON’T GO OUT WITHOUT YOUR S.C.A.R.F.

After dinner I sneaked out to the tree house in our back garden. When Dad and Grandpa put it up they had no idea that the exact spot they’d chosen was a doorway between our world and a parallel world, or that it was destined to become the international headquarters for a secret superhero crimefighting organisation known as S.C.A.R.F. – or possibly S.P.A.T.U.L.A. We hadn’t yet decided, which was partly why we were meeting up tonight. There was a lot to discuss.

As I huffed and puffed to the top of the rope ladder I reflected on recent events. Thanks to a catastrophically timed wee, I had missed out on being granted my greatest wish – to become a superhero. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it had happened twice.

Twice.

The second time the powers were given to my neighbour, schoolfriend and cub reporter, Lara Lee. Now, instead of splashing the story of Star Lad across the front of the school newspaper, she had become the story. Right away, she and Zack teamed up to fight crime and have thrilling adventures. Which was very nice for them, but left Serge and me twiddling our game controllers. That’s what this evening was about.

For weeks I’d been trying to get both superheroes in a room with us to discuss forming a team. We hoped to convince them that dynamic duos were old-fashioned, and that modern superheroes have a whole bunch of people helping them out in the background. Of course, usually they’re ex-Special Forces commandos or genius-level scientists, not eleven-year-old boys with no practical skills and whose only expertise lies in knowing that the Hulk comic-book character was meant to be grey and that Superman was originally bald. But we weren’t going to mention that part.

Serge was already in the tree house, the first to arrive. He looked up as I entered and I saw that his cheeks were covered in a bright-red rash. “I am allergic to squirrel fur,” he explained miserably. “I wish she would stop sending messages by small woodland creature.”

“She’s just exploring her new power,” I said, sitting down next to him to wait for the others.

“I should warn you that I have taken the anti-histamine,” he added, “but I am unsure if it was drowsy or non-drowsy.”

Serge and I had been through a lot together, most of it accompanied by a chocolate bar and an asthma inhaler. We were alike in many ways, but most of all we shared a passion for superheroes. I was as close to Serge as I used to be to my brother. It’s not that I don’t get on with Zack, but we’re in different places in our lives. I’m saving for the new Batman videogame, and he’s saving the world.

“Did you bring the designs?” I asked.

Serge unzipped an A3 portfolio case. We’d spent ages coming up with the name of our crimefighting team, and even longer on designs for the logo. I held up the first one, all sleek silver and black lettering with a drop-shadow that made it pop off the page. “Nice,” I cooed.

“Nice?” He seemed offended. “It is a highly effective design, at once simple and resonant with our target audience. Regard the swoosh, which adds dynamism, and the bold use of chiaroscuro—”

“The what?”

He sighed. “Light and shade, Luke. Light. And. Shade.”

I held up the second design side by side with the first. “I’m still not sure about these. S.C.A.R.F. and S.P.A.T.U.L.A. aren’t exactly fearsome, awe-inspiring acronyms.”

When the initial letters of a phrase spell out a word it’s called an acronym. We’d tried to create one as cool as S.H.I.E.L.D. or T.H.U.N.D.E.R. but it’s much harder than it looks.

There was a rustle of leaves from outside the tree house and a moment later Star Lad blew through the doorway to land before us with a controlled thud. He struck a pose, head down, one knee on the floor, one arm trailing behind him, cape settling across his back. Slowly he lifted his masked face. These days Zack rarely just arrived anywhere – he made an entrance.

Beside me I could tell without looking that Serge was impressed. Even though he had played a vital role in the Nemesis adventure, Serge hadn’t yet outgrown the fanboy phase. On a daily basis, I was rather less in awe of Zack. It was hard to be impressed when you got the blame for a messy room and can’t say it’s because your brother threw a telekinetic fit looking for his spare cape.

Ah yes, the cape.

For ages Zack wouldn’t wear a proper costume, saying that a mask and cape looked stupid, but in the end he came round. Zack is a bit skinny and the billowing cape gives him more presence. The mask guards his identity, but it also protects the delicate skin around his eyes. He was getting some serious windburn from all that flying.

There was a flutter and a hoot from the doorway as Lara glided into the tree house. She didn’t have the same flying superpower as Star Lad, relying instead upon a unique propulsion system.

Birds.

They clung to her sleeves and trouser legs: geese for altitude, pigeons for guidance, and frantically flapping, manoeuvring sparrows. She touched down gently, extending one poised foot to the floor and then the other. Landing accomplished, she chirped at the birds. Releasing their grip on her they streamed from the tree house back out into the night.

The superpower that Zorbon the Decider had given Lara was the ability to command animals.

Not all animals. Tigers, elephants, polar bears – basically anything big and fearsome – didn’t respond to her. We’d been to the zoo and checked. It was only creatures like squirrels and rabbits and small birds that she could control, which I couldn’t help thinking was, well, a bit rubbish.

And then there was her costume. It was unlike any other, which is to say that it covered her body in a sensible fashion. Whenever I look at girl superheroes in comics my first thought is that if they went out wearing as few clothes as that, they would catch a chill. And one day I’d like someone to explain to me the point of an armoured bikini. I’d helped Lara decide on her costume. So in addition to a mask and cape, she wore a tough leather jacket, dark trousers with useful zip pockets, gloves for protection from claws, and big black boots.

She’d also needed my help choosing her superhero name. Obviously it had to be animal-based, so she suggested names like Talon, Claw and Birdgirl.

“All taken,” I informed her.

“What about something with wing?”

“There’s already a Nightwing,” I said.

“Then I could be Daywing!” said Lara.

I frowned. “That sounds like part of a hospital.”

In the end she decided to call herself Flutter, which, after checking through my comic collection, turned out was available. However, it was also terrible. But she wouldn’t budge. After a great deal of persuasion, she agreed to Dark Flutter, which added a hint of fear to the featheriness. Although Serge thought it sounded like a chocolate spread. Then he’d had to go and make himself a sandwich.

In the tree house Lara and Zack began to catch up on their week’s heroics, talking about events Serge and I knew nothing about, or had only seen reported on the news. It was as if we weren’t even in the room.

Lara snapped her fingers. “Oh, I forgot to mention the—”

“Genetically modified greengrocer?” finished Zack. “Taken care of.” He brushed off a piece of glowing broccoli that had stuck to his sleeve.

“Oh good.”

“And those trapped miners?” he asked in return.

“Yes, the moles were a great idea. Thanks,” said Lara, making a feverish burrowing motion with her hands.

Zack lifted his mask. It settled on his forehead with a twang of elastic. “No problem.”

“By the way,” said Lara, “great job on that evil Artificial Intelligence in John Lewis.”

Zack shrugged. “Couldn’t have done it without you. Partner.”

She gave him a friendly punch in the arm. “Stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”

They grinned at each other, distinctly pleased with their week’s work.

“So,” I said. “Evil Artificial Intelligence, eh? Sounds like the kind of mission, say, where you could have done with some back-up?”

“Nah, we had it covered. Isn’t that right, Dark Flutter?” Zack held up a palm and Lara smacked a high-five. He turned to me. “So why have you brought us here? I have maths homework, and it’s polynomials.”

I got straight to the point. “We’re here to discuss the formation of a super-secret organisation dedicated to fighting crime.” I held up the logo designs. “S.C.A.R.F. is the Superhero Covert Alliance Reaction Force, and S.P.A.T.U.L.A. stands for Superhero PATrol United—”

“Is this for one of your role-playing game thingies?” Zack interrupted with a frown.

“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s real.” I could see from his expression that he wasn’t getting it.

Lara studied Serge’s expertly shaded logo. “Bold use of Enrico...